"Wait a minute? Did I read that
right? What has Michael Jordan to do with writing anything?"
Great questions. And in response,
here's your first lesson. Create a title that grabs the reader's
interest. If you're here, it worked. If you're not, then you
don't know what you're missing. I might have called this article "Learning the Hard Way" but what fun is that. This way I got to hang out with Michael Jordan, if only figuratively. So here goes...
Recently I received a slap in my
authorial face and it woke me up. It wasn't hard slap. It was more
like gentle pat on my cheek, more out of thoughtful concern than
malice. Still like the title of this piece, it got my attention.
But let's get down to it. Michael,
why don't you make your first point.
"I've missed more than 9000
shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been
trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over
and over and over again in my life."
In other words three-peats are
tough.
Many of you have followed my recent
successes on a fun new website
mashstories.com. The concept is
remarkably easy. They give you 3 unrelated words and you give them
500 in return in the form of a comprehensive short story utilizing
those three words. I was fortunate to make the shortlist for their
first two competitions with my stories "Begin the Countdown"
and "My Big Fat Mythical Greek Wedding." If you haven't
read them yet, go to
mashstories.com right now and read them. It's
okay, we'll wait right here for you.
***
Back? What did you think? Pretty
great, right? I thought you'd like it. I'm very proud of what they
did.
I didn't win the big money but just
making the shortlist was awesome, twice. First, they published both
stories on their website. Then they created a very professional audio
podcast each week featuring a different shortlisted story. Both are
excellent but I love what they did with "My Big Fat Mythical
Greek Wedding." When I first heard it I was laughing out loud
and I already knew all of the jokes because I wrote them. (Be warned
they do mispronounce my last name in both stories. It's "bye-bo",
not "bee-bo". I let them know both times and we've had a
good laugh over it.)
For a long time I had signed up for a
twitter account but I never really used it. Then I read an article on
how writers need to brand themselves through social media and how
publishers actually look to see how many followers you have when
considering your book. Really? Okay I'd better get with it. I thought
this would be the perfect time to begin. So I tweeted my successes
and retweeted many of the kind words by mashstories. And a funny
thing happened. People read my tweets. Now I actually had followers,
new ones every day, people I don't even know.
Then a couple of other successes came
through. I can tell you I was feeling pretty good. So I sent off my
entry, "Brother Robert's Discovery", for Mash Stories #3.
Third time's the charm, right, this was going to be it, big money.
What was that, Michael? You have
something to say again?
"Sometimes
you need to get hit in the head to realize that you're in a fight."
Ah, yes. Then came slap. It came in the
form of an email from my good friends at Mash Stories. Though kindly,
it was short and to the point.
Dear Bill,
Thank
you for sending us "Brother Robert's Discovery". We
appreciate the chance to read it. Unfortunately, we won’t be able
to shortlist it this time. Don't be disappointed, but do try us again
for the next quarter’s competition.
Thanks again.
All the
best
Whoa! What? I mean, I thought we had a good
thing going here. Now you don't want me? Are we breaking up? I was crushed. I sat in the corner and put on some John Mayer.
Yes, Michael, stop waving your overly
long arm. I see it. You have something else to say?
"Be true to the game, because
the game will be true to you. If you try to shortcut the game, then
the game will shortcut you. If you put forth the effort, good things
will be bestowed upon you. That's truly about the game, and in some
ways that's about life too."
I hate it when you're right,
Michael. I rushed it. In my defense I could fill a basketball stadium
with excuses. I had so much work at the office in the next month,
having to travel to Gainesville twice in the weeks to come, then
family commitments, friends visiting, the summer was booking up. When
was I going to write it? Best do it now and send it off quick. They'll love
it and post it early and I'll get tons of votes and win the big
prize! Great plan. Hooray! Let's do it!
I came up with a
brilliant concept and wrote a fine story, but I didn't let it sit and
gel and mature. I wrote it, read it over, and sent it off just a few
days later, a full month or more before the due date. I went on with
my daily chores knowing full well that soon First Place would be mine. It was
inevitable, I mean, they love me.
A few days later
at lunch I read my story over. That was when I saw the first typo.
Dang it. (trying to keep it family friendly). But I still had a
chance, maybe they'd love the story so much that they'd overlook it
and let me fix it before they publish it. Just to be safe I didn't reread the story again.
Slap time. Wake
up, Bill. You've got mail. Whack!
So what do you
take away from all this? What are the lessons learned?
The big one, the easy one is
don't rush it. It's fine to write your story in a few short days, but
let it sit, do something else, come back later and read it over.
You'll find ways to make it better. You know you will, you always do.
Don't be
overconfident. Everything you write isn't golden. You're not perfect.
No one is, even your idol. Vonnegut had stories he kept in his drawer
that he or his publisher felt weren't up to his standards. They only got published after he was dead, and then he had no say in the matter.
Don't get lazy.
Spellcheck will not find the wrong word if it still is a word and not just the
wrong word. Someone once told me to accurately check your writing read
the story backwards. Start with the last sentence, then read the next
to last sentence, then the one before that. When you write a piece
you spend hours hunched over it, delving deep into it. You get to
know it, and anticipate it. You see words as you think they should be,
not as you have actually written them. Reading the sentences out of
sequence lets you focus on each sentence independently.
Finally, don't
take it personally. You write words on paper, electronic or real.
Readers, especially judges, react to those words. (Note: misspelled,
wrong, or left out words judges react to a lot.) Just remember they
aren't reacting to you as a person, just words on paper. They
probably still think you're pretty cool. I still like them. (Hey, I did get a shout out today in their newsletter.)
So finally, yes I am ending this
entry someday soon, here's what you've been patiently waiting for. I
present to you my story "Brother Robert's Discovery". The
words we needed to use were
cathedral, monkey, relativity. The
story is exactly as I sent it to
mashstories.com. Nothing has been
changed, nothing has been altered. I leave it naked before you, typos
and all. Immediately following the story are the judge's comments.
(That is one of the best things about Mash Stories. Feedback. They will tell
you what they thought, giving you the chance to grow and get better.)
Brother Robert's
Discovery
by Bill Bibo Jr
Brother Robert
ran through the cloister, a stack of papers clutched tightly against
his chest. He didn't stop when Prior Matthew called to him from the
garden. He didn't stop when he ran into the cathedral, his footsteps
echoing in the vast chamber. He only paused as he crossed the nave
and passed in front of the altar, to genuflect in thanks to his Lord.
He must speak to the Abbot. Something glorious has happened.
When he reached
the door to the Abbot's office he looked down at the papers in his
hand. A tear fell from his cheek striking the top sheet. He cried out
and quickly used the fabric from his sleeve to blot it up. Summoning
his courage and his joy he entered.
William the
123rd, the Abbot of the Monastery of the Immortal Bard, sat hunched
over an ancient manuscript, a large ornate magnifying glass in his
hand. Two candles on either side illuminated the manuscript and very
little else in the room.
"Who doth
interrupt my study? Who stills my contemplation?" the Abbot said
not looking up from his table.
Brother Robert
leaned gently forward and said, "Father, please excuse this
intrusion. I have glorious news."
The Abbott looked
up to see his young student rocking side to side and all but bouncing
before him. He saw the papers in the young man's arms. He nodded to
continue.
"Father,
it's my cellmate. He just finished this. I brought it right away,"
Brother Robert said. He placed the stack of papers in front of the
Abbott and retreated to safety by the door.
Abbott William
grunted and poked at the papers with his magnifying glass lest they
bite him. They didn't. He picked up the top page and began to read.
He took the next page and then the next and the next.
"Father,
what does it mean?" Brother Robert asked.
The abbot glanced
at a few more pages before replacing all of them on the stack. He sat
back in his chair staring blankly before him.
"I no not,"
said Abbot William. "For these centuries following the Great War
our order was tasked to retrieve all knowledge that was lost. Some
doubted our methods, but we persevere. Given enough time, and our
eternal patience, the writings of our Lord will be recreated."
"But this
manuscript entitled "Relativity: The Special and the General
Theory", I make no sense of it. It has no rhyme and little
reason. Tis worthless, I fear." he said dropping the papers into
the basket by his desk.
"Brother
Robert, return to your cell. Wait by the side of your monkey. Tend to
his needs. Keep his typewriter clean and his ribbon dark. Tis
'Hamlet' we want. Tis 'Hamlet' we need. Not this, this dribble. Go
now and waste not my time."
His heart heavy
Brother Robert walked back toward his cell. At the cloister he
paused, looked up to the open sky, and wondered what was out there.
the end
The jury's comments:
- The narrative drive is strong and
with more thought and attention it could have been a contender.
- I was gripped by this story, deciding
at the opening paragraph that I was going to like it. The idea(s)
behind it are sharp and entertaining,
as well as thoughtful and thought provoking. However - and
unfortunately there is a 'however' - as
I read on, the quality of the writing seemed to go downhill. There
are a few typographical errors, and there is even an error of verb
form in the opening paragraph ('has
happened' should be 'had happened'
because the story's written in the past tense). There is also a lot
of
punctuation missing - something that is
probably vital in helping the writing flow.
- I love the pace of this and the build
up to the revelation at the end.
- My main problem however is the
dialogue between the brother and the Abbot towards the end. It seemed
to come apart. And there was a typo: "I no not" should be
"I know not". There is plenty that is good in this story;
but that piece of dialogue is bothering me.
- The idea of the monkey at the
typewriter eventually producing Hamlet is a nice touch. A good joke
to slip in.
There you go. My writing soul laid bare
before you. The good, the bad, and the lazy. Sure I have my excuses.
We all do. But readers don't care. They want to read your story, not
your excuses. Live and learn. Correct my mistakes, look back but don't dwell, and move on.
And, Mash Stories, look out. You haven't
seen the last of me.
Okay Michael, just one more. What do you want to say?
"In
reality, I never want to grow up."
Well played, Mr
Jordan, well played.
And as always,
thanks for reading me.
